There’s Nothing Wrong with You
Courageous Communication Coaching
with Trime Persinger
You have tried. You might have even been in therapy or coaching, possibly for years. You have some idea of the problem.
And yet you still find yourself in the same conversation—same words, same tone, same wall coming up between you and your spouse or another family member.
Understanding your issues is not the same as moving beyond them. That gap is where I work.
My Clients
I work with men who are caught in a way of relating that they can no longer ignore and have not yet been able to change.
Most often that is with a partner in a long-term relationship. Sometimes it’s with a parent, an adult child, a sibling, or a colleague who takes up more room in your head than you want them to.
Sometimes it is not really about another person at all. It is about how you talk to yourself when no one else is listening.
I also work with couples. You both learn skills and you learn a lot about each other. The understanding and the competence develop together.
You do not need to arrive with the problem well defined. Most people do not.
Start with a Free Half-Hour Session
Meet me before you decide. This first conversation is for us to get to know each other, nothing more.
You tell me what is going on, in whatever shape it is in. I listen, and I ask questions. Not to assess you, but to understand what you are actually up against.
By the end you will know what it’s like to be in conversation with me. If you want to keep going, I will design a coaching program around your situation.
No cost, no pressure.
Trime Persinger
Certified Narrative Enneagram Practitioner, The Narrative Enneagram
Certificate in Conflict Resolution, Justice Institute of British Columbia
M.Sc. (Bus. Admin.), University of British Columbia
Author of Crossing the Bridge
Origins
What I teach was not developed on a worksheet. It was tested in the hardest rooms you can imagine, and it held.
I started studying conflict resolution in the 1990’s, and it humbled me. Before then, I thought I knew everything. What I learned was that other people knew things too, and that sometimes I was wrong. I took the courses, earned a Certificate in Conflict Resolution from the Justice Institute of British Columbia, and practiced the skills until they were mine. They changed my life.
I started teaching the skills right away to individuals and groups. A few years later, I became a Buddhist chaplain in Oregon’s largest prison (3,000 male inmates), a position I held for 16 years.
When an inmate asked me to teach a communication course, I built one based on the work I had done before. The program spread throughout Oregon’s prison system. For several years I taught it to inmates who had every reason not to trust it in an environment where getting a conversation wrong carries real consequences.
One inmate cohort rated the course 9.6 out of 10. I collected more than a hundred written accounts of people using these skills and experiencing meaningful change in their relationships both inside and outside of prison.
Years later I found the Enneagram, and it opened up a whole new world to me. I finally understood my own patterns of thinking, and I lightened up on myself. That mattered as much as any skill I had learned. I trained through The Narrative Enneagram, which helps people discover their Type through conversation rather than a questionnaire, and I became a Certified Practitioner and Professional Member with them. I’m also a Professional Member of the International Enneagram Association.
The two together—the Enneagram and communication skills—are what I do now. Once you recognize your Enneagram Type patterns, their subconscious grip on you loosens. Then the communication skills give you a way to do things differently.
Benefits
The good news is, it only takes one person to change the tone of a conversation or a relationship. I help you be that person.
In our work together, you will get to know yourself better as you improve your ability to communicate with your loved ones. The combination of self-awareness and personal agency will bring you greater confidence and ease in your relationships with the people closest to you.
Over time, you will experience more harmony in every area of your life. Your positive impact will be obvious to everyone, including you.
What to Expect
In our first full coaching session, I will help you discover your Enneagram Type because it shows you your wiring. Once you can see the lens you have been looking through, the way you see yourself and the world begin to look like assumptions rather than truth. Something that feels so obviously right turns out to be arising from your Type. That frees you, because you do not have to be bound by it.
This is what I repeat to clients endlessly: there is nothing wrong with you, nothing here needs fixing. Your Type patterns are something to be aware of so that you have more agency—you can notice when you are caught in a pattern and make a different choice.
Communication comes into all of it. I have spent 25 years studying and teaching communication, so I work with it directly.
I hold the structure of our sessions, use insights from the Enneagram and the framework of Courageous Communication, and follow what wants to happen. In this way, each series of sessions is completely customized to you and your unique path as an individual or as a couple.
I guarantee confidentiality to the extent permitted by law.
The Enneagram
The Enneagram is a personality typing system with nine distinct Types. Your Type emerges from the deepest part of you and forms the lens through which you see the world.
Discovering your Enneagram Type is a journey all on its own. Sometimes it takes a while, but once you know your Type then your whole life starts to make more sense.
For more information on the Enneagram, see here.
What Clients Say
"What draws me to Trime is her steadiness and unwavering commitment to understanding the person in front of her. She listens deeply and communicates clearly, precisely and honestly. She welcomes and is curious about the diversity and complexity of human experience, and is willing and skillful in getting to the root of another's experience so that the person she is with feels seen and heard and also gains deeper insight into their own being."
— Lone, 1:1 Coaching Client
"It was so wonderful working with Trime. We were so incredibly impressed with her communication program. The lessons were well thought out, succinct, organized, simple, and, most importantly, super helpful! Within the context of going through the program, Trime created a safe and welcoming space whereby we flourished in our communicating with one another and, in the process, deepened our relationship in and outside of the meetings. Thank you, Trime!"
— Samantha and Miguel, Couple Coaching Clients
In Closing
If you have read this far, something brought you here. You don’t have to have it figured out before we meet for the first time. That’s what the half hour is for.
I hope you will consider working with me. I really do deliver.