You have probably read the books. You may have been in therapy, possibly for years. You can describe your pattern out loud, in detail.
And you still find yourself in the same conversation. Same words, same tone, same wall coming up between you and a family member, a colleague, a friend.
Understanding a pattern is not the same as being free of it. That gap is where I work.
There’s Nothing Wrong with You
Relationship and Communication Coaching
with Trime Persinger
My Clients
I work with individuals and couples who are caught in a way of relating that they can no longer ignore and have not yet been able to change.
Most often that is a partner in a long relationship. Sometimes a parent, an adult child, a sibling, a colleague who takes up more room in your head than you want them to. Sometimes it is not really about another person at all. It is about how you talk to yourself when no one else is listening.
You do not need to arrive with the problem well defined. Most people do not.
Start with a Free Half-Hour Session
Bring whatever you are carrying. This first conversation is the two of us getting to know each other, nothing more.
You tell me what is going on, in whatever shape it is in. I listen, and I ask questions. Not to assess you, but to understand what you are actually up against.
By the end you will know what it is like to be in conversation with me, which is most of what you need in order to decide. If we both want to keep going, I will design a coaching program around your situation.
No cost, no pressure.
Trime Persinger
Certified Narrative Enneagram Practitioner, The Narrative Enneagram
Certificate in Conflict Resolution, Justice Institute of British Columbia
M.Sc. (Bus. Admin.), University of British Columbia
Author of Crossing the Bridge
Origins
What I teach was not developed on a worksheet. It was tested in the hardest rooms you can imagine, and it held.
I started studying conflict resolution in the 1990’s, and it humbled me. Before then, I thought I knew everything. What I learned was that other people knew things too, and that sometimes I was wrong. I took the courses, earned a Certificate in Conflict Resolution from the Justice Institute of British Columbia, and practiced the skills until they were mine. They changed my life.
I started teaching the skills right away to individuals and groups. A few years later, I became a Buddhist chaplain in the Oregon prison system, a position I held for 16 years.
When an inmate asked me to teach a communication course, I built one based on the work I had done before. The program spread throughout Oregon’s prison system. For several years I taught it to inmates who had every reason not to trust it in an environment where getting a conversation wrong carries real consequences.
One inmate cohort rated the course 9.6 out of 10. I have more than a hundred written accounts of people using these skills and experiencing meaningful change in their relationships inside and outside of prison.
Years later I found the Enneagram, and it opened up a whole new world. I finally understood my own patterns of thinking, and I lightened up on myself. That mattered as much as any skill I had learned. I trained through The Narrative Enneagram, which helps people discover their type through conversation rather than a questionnaire, and I became a Certified Practitioner and Professional Member with them. I’m also a Professional Member of the International Enneagram Association.
The two together are what I do now. Once you recognize your Type patterns, their subconscious grip on you loosens. Then the communication skills give you a way to do things differently.
Benefits
Most of this work is about you. Improved relationships follow.
This work leads to greater self-awareness, authenticity, and connection. Over time, you will experience greater harmony and greater positive impact in every area of your life. It only takes one person to change the tone of a conversation or of a relationship.
That person could be you.
What to Expect
At our first full coaching session, I will help you discover your Enneagram Type because it shows you your wiring. Once you can see the lens you have been looking through, the way you see yourself and the world begin to look like assumptions rather than truth. Something that feels so obviously right turns out to be arising from your Type. That frees you, because you do not have to be bound by it.
This is what I repeat to clients endlessly: there is nothing wrong with you. Nothing here needs fixing. It is something to be aware of so that you have more agency, more choice, more power, and so that you can notice when you are caught in your pattern and make a different choice.
Communication comes into all of it. I have spent 25 years studying and teaching communication, so I work with it directly.
I hold the structure of our sessions, use insights from the Enneagram and the framework of Courageous Communication, and follow what wants to happen. In this way, each series of sessions is completely customized to you and your unique path as an individual or as a couple.
The Enneagram
The Enneagram is a personality typing system with nine distinct Types. Your Type emerges from the deepest part of you and forms the lens through which you see the world.
Discovering you Enneagram Type is a journey all on its own. Sometimes it takes a while, but once you know your Type then your whole life starts to make more sense.
For more information on the Enneagram, see my webpage here.
What Clients Say
"What draws me to Trime is her steadiness and unwavering commitment to understanding the person in front of her. She listens deeply and communicates clearly, precisely and honestly. She welcomes and is curious about the diversity and complexity of human experience, and is willing and skillful in getting to the root of another's experience so that the person she is with feels seen and heard and also gains deeper insight into their own being."
— Lone, 1:1 Coaching Client
"It was so wonderful working with Trime. We were so incredibly impressed with her communication program. The lessons were well thought out, succinct, organized, simple, and, most importantly, super helpful! Within the context of going through the program, Trime created a safe and welcoming space whereby we flourished in our communicating with one another and, in the process, deepened our relationship in and outside of the meetings. Thank you, Trime!"
— Samantha and Miguel, Couple Coaching Clients
In Closing
If you have read this far, something brought you here. You don’t have to have it figured out before we meet for the first time. That’s what the half hour is for.
I hope you will consider working with me. I really do deliver.